Crash. Thought many miles away I could feel the impact at home. On Halloween of 2006 I lost my Superman, my brother. I was over at a friend’s house that night, while my brother off to college. There is a soft knock at the door, definitely not a trick-or-treater, and my mother walks in. My eyes meet hers, my heart drops. Those three small words, those three small words repeat in my head over and over again, “Todd is dead.” I stand there, silent. My feet felt like cement, my eyes watering, and my mind racing. My world had just been turned upside down. Though standing still, I could feel my body in a whirlwind, my heart dropping faster than an atomic bomb then I reach rock bottom…boom. I break down, I don’t know what else to do? I keep asking her if this is real and all she can do is stare at me, her eyes just as red as mine. What do you say after you find out that your brother was killed my a drunk driver? You don’t say anything, you just hear silence.
I cannot remember anything else from that night before my mother walked into that door with the news that could kill. My parents tell me that I need to stay home while they go off to West Virginia to deal with the funeral. I was furious. How could they not realize that I want to be able to say goodbye? To this day I still wish I could have said my final goodbye, but it is something that I can never give. I stay with my friend for a week; it was the longest week of my life. I dreaded going to school, seeing everyone who seemed like nothing was wrong, treading along as if the world was still in order. Of course I was quiet, not speaking to anyone. I was dying inside, struggling to hold in my anger, my sadness.
Eventually my mind began to settle, the tornado of emotions withered away. Though that stormed had settled, my heart could still feel the strike of the girl who took my brother away, the girl who decided to have one too many drinks, the girl who should have never gotten in the car. My brother was the designated driver that night, being responsible and taking care of his friends, why was he the one who had to suffer the consequences of someone else’s thoughtless actions? Sadly enough he is not the only person that has been tragically taken away by people who make bad decisions. Did you know that in 2008 approximately 11,773 people were killed due to “alcohol-impaired traffic crashes” (MADD). Out of those 11,773 one of them has to be someone’s brother, someone’s son, someone’s best friend lost in something that could have been avoided. To think that my brother could still be alive if that girl, Amber, would have had the common sense to put the keys down. It is as simple as that, just put the keys down. However that thought was lost.
Now in college, I fear the same outcome. Halloween is a night that will always instill fear in me, not because of the monsters in masks, but the monsters inside people. I fear not only for my safety, but also for the safety of others. Seeing as my brother was taken away from me his freshman year of college, it is only natural that I begin to lose myself. I thought that after so many years, I was done with the grieving and all its stages. I was wrong. The night haunted me and tore me apart. I didn’t want to leave my dorm, but I did. Every second I was near a moving vehicle I quivered in pain, I thought I was going insane, my body ached and I couldn’t move. However I was not crazy at all, this was normal. Apparently the intensity and depth of my emotion pain can lead to another type of pain, chronic and physical pain. Most would see this as just depression and leave it at that, but it was more ("Journal of Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings"). I felt as if my body was giving up, I couldn’t go on. I see everyone drinking and having a good time, while me on the other hand was worried the whole time. I was worried that my friend was going to walk out and a car come out of nowhere, hitting them. The whole time I just wanted my brother back, hoping that I would see him walk into the door, give me a big hug and have a good time. That never happened.
I hear accounts of people who drink and drive and I want to slap them across the face. They don’t realize the harm that it can cause; how even the family’s who lose someone they love are still a victim. Those who act as a victim due to the lose that they have received; they are considered a Bereaved Victim. Due to the sudden loss in their life they have to “play the role of the victim in the name of the deceased,” (Weed, p. 461). This shows people the pain that family and friends go through. Along with that they can share the knowledge of what harm can actually be done due to drunk driving. How else are people going to realize that actions taken by drunk drivers hurt not only the one’s in the accident, but the one’s who love them? They can’t. They have no experience or knowledge in such areas.
Due to the lack of concern from people with lack of information, it is up to those hurt to tell their story. Whether it be Mothers Against Drunk Driving or another activist program, anything to get the word out helps. Sadly enough, even that does not make many people listen. Sometimes it takes an actual account to happen to them or to someone they know and/or love to understand. It is a disappointment when people realize that it is already too late to do something, because it is never too late. Though you or anyone else may not have been able to save someone already effect by such accidents, you can still help to make a difference in the future. It is never too late to try to save a life.
Works Cited
"The Effectiveness of Mindfulness Training on the Grieving Process and Emotional Well-Being of Chronic Pain Patients." Journal Clinical Psychology in Medical Settings 11.4 (2008): n. pag. Web. 15 Apr 2010.
"Statistics." MADD: Activism, Victim Services, and Education. MADD, 2009. Web. 15 Apr 2010.
Weed, Frank J. "The Victim-Activist Role in the Anti-Drunk Driving Movement." Sociological Quarterly 31.3 (1990): 459-73. Web. 15 Apr 2010.
